If my life is a song, what are people listening to?

Our lives are all a series of choices. We decide what we want to eat, what we want to wear, the shoes we want to show off, what we want our makeup to look like, every aspect of who we are is put on display for others. I would like to say that I don’t really care what others think about me but that just wouldn’t be 100% truthful. Some part of me no matter how small has a certain version of myself that I want people to see. That’s a choice that I make daily. Of course I usually run into everybody and their grandma on the day when I am a mess! Not even a hot mess, just a mess. But that is besides the point. When I’m intentional, there’s a version of me I like to show. Continue reading

God’s plan Vs Mine: The ultimate Comedy?

Do you ever make it to the end of the day and look back at it wondering how you made it to the end of the day?

That has happened to me more often than not lately. I feel like the mad Hatter at the end of every day, I’ve changed a few things since I  woke up. I had to because so much change happens in one stinking day I have no choice but to adapt or drown in the craziness.  It has seemed like life just keeps throwing these curve balls that I have no idea how to handle.  To the point where I have no idea it’s coming until it just about hits me in the face!  (Possibly one too many analogies, but I’m gonna roll with it, message me if you’re really bothered)

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   — Mad Hatter

Roughly 4 years ago God planted a dream in our hearts (my husband and I.) We had this crazy idea that God was going to use our past craziness, to help others who have been through the same things. We found that one of the best tools the enemy has in his pocket is loneliness, and he is very good at making us feel like we are all alone. We are pretty good at doing that to ourselves as well so lets not give the cheeky little booger too much credit here!  I know I was great at reminding myself that there could be absolutely no other person on the face of this planet that has ever been sexually abused, or taken away from their parents at a young age. (puhlease!!) However that didn’t change the fact that I felt all alone, and completely unloved, even when I was surrounded by all of my brothers and sisters and amazing parents who adopted me.  Even when I got married, in the so-called honeymoon phase, I was lonely.  For a long time my husband felt the same. Like he was unworthy because of the things he had done.

Through time, friends, and our eyes being opened to how much God loves us, we have seen life differently. One day at a time has given us a passion to show others that guess what? We are never ever alone in this fight against the world.  He gave us a dream to go and share that passion.  So we prayed and decided no matter what the answer was, we were going to say YES to God. Not only is that a very hard prayer to pray, but it is an even harder prayer to follow though with!

God called us away from our friends, and family, and everything comfortable in our life! I had never even been to Denver, yet here we were moving there with our two young children.  I must admit at first when my husband told me that this was where he thought we were going, I was not having it! I told him we were gonna fly him there so he could go see the city, pray over and see if that was really where we needed to go. Meanwhile in the back of my mind i was thinking there’s no way this is gonna happen. neither of us had ever even been, how were we supposed to move there?

God was giggling, I just know it, because lo and behold, we moved. :/  We moved with this BIG dream and no idea how it was even supposed to happen, or function, or even what it was really supposed to look like! regardless we stepped out with the faith that God was going to lead and we were going to follow no matter how crazy I thought he was.

“No eye has seen, no ear has heard, and no human mind has conceived the things that God has prepared for those who love him.”

1 Corinthians 2:9

Let me tell you, I had no idea.  This last year and a half has been a nightmare! Business fell apart with our business partner, the work outside that was very minimal.  So we have been financially strapped to the bones, I got pregnant for someone else, (read all about that soon, promise) while also working full-time as a nanny to two. Plus I do happen to have these two little people who follow me around everywhere and call me mommy for some reason. 😉 We have been stretched in ways that I never knew we needed to be. The first year we lost track of our dream. we allowed ourselves to get caught up in someone elses dream with the idea that maybe just maybe, ours tied into theirs.  We basically died a little inside spiritually at first because we realized how much we relied on others. Not for our beliefs, or standards, but for our fire.  When you are surrounded by people who dream it’s pretty easy to catch the disease and start dreaming big too!  When you are by yourself and people look at you like you may be slightly touched in the head because you’re telling them about the vision God gave your husband for your dream that is sooo much bigger than anything you could ever accomplish on your own, it’s easy to not dream. We moved from PA to Fort Collins, Co, then to Denver, then we moved to Las Vegas, and now we have the opportunity to go home. To have the things we prayed over before we even started this adventure, things we thought God was saying no to. An example of us thinking it’s a no when really God was saying not now. Because we have come full circle back to our dreams,  simply because we walked in obedience to God.

God taught us through the very rough patch that we need to catch the fire from HIM! There is no one who can take it away or cause it to simmer when all the fire we need comes right from him.  He taught us what our dream looks like!!! We are so stinking excited about what is coming. When there is a passion in you for something beyond yourself, god moves mountains.  God has given every one of us passions and talents to be used for His glory.  I am so excited to be able to do that.  When you get down to what it is that you are truly passionate about, and decide to use THAT for the display of Gods splendor, then a fire is ignited inside that burns so bright!  I hope you feed that fire. Life for us is starting to look up but we are still very much in the midst of all the craziness. Barely making ends meet yet tithing, knowing that God will provide.  We are provided for even when the numbers don’t add up in my head. God is good and he ALWAYS provides!

What is your passion? I want to hear from you!! My passion, if you can’t tell, is writing.  I also love talking to people so leave a comment, message me on FACEBOOK, I would love to chat about your dream, and how to make it reality no matter what life around you looks like!

The Secret to Radiant Joy

In this hectic world filled with thing tugging at me every moment of the day, it seems I can find myself in a never ending cycle to hold tight to my joy. I like to laugh, and have fun. I love the feeling of my face hurting because I have been smiling so much. I like to feel the small accomplishment when my abs hurt from laughing. It also makes me feel like I got a workout in that day.

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Unfocused: 3 steps to changing your focus

If we sat down for coffee today it would probably be my third cup. I would have to apologize because my brain would be going a million miles a minute trying to talk to you while simultaneously making a bullet point list of the seemingly endless tasks to be done in the house. We would also have the children running around like chickens with their heads cut off. I would like to say that it’s just because it’s Saturday and have the energy, but I’m pretty sure it’s because I gave them waffles for breakfast. I was in the middle of doing something so I let my oldest put on the syrup. So it’s all the sugar that’s got them slapping each other and jumping on all my furniture. Continue reading

Created for togetherness: The struggle to relate.

We all want someone who understands us. Someone we can turn to that understands our pain. My example is just in my parenting, but it’s in everything we experince. From our insecurities to our anger issues, our addictions, our temptations in everyday life. No one wants to feel alone Continue reading

Undeserved

Whether it’s the older catholic ladies outside of a Planned Parenthood holding graphic signs, a seemingly clever bumper sticker that you are forced to look at in traffic, or a disturbing article/ picture on your FB newsfeed, to a certain population, it all feels the same. Gut wrenching. You don’t have to tell me how horrific abortion is or describe it detail by detail. You don’t have to flash images in my face constantly, because I lived it. At one regretful time in my life, I chose it. Continue reading

Living life out loud despite the noise of the world

Did you know that there are different colors associated with noise? Until today I didn’t, I got a little bit nerdy this morning and was looking it up in reference to this post and “living out loud.” I learned that purple noise gets louder at a higher frequency. I thought that this goes right along with what God’s been nudging in my ears lately. The more we focus on living out loud, like purple noise, the louder we are going to be! How cool is that! I don’t even have to focus my effort on actually being loud, even though I can be quiet loud sometimes, I just need to focus on making noise for Christ more often and I will naturally be louder.

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