On The Real

 I’m a mom…

A nanny…

A wife…

A daughter of God…

And an utter disaster!

This Is real talk in the middle of this crazy, fun, chaotic, messed up world.

As a mom I try really hard to raise my tiny humans to function in this life without me hovering 24/7.  Tiny humans that only by the grace of God will love Him more than I could imagine! Let’s face it, I fail, I fall short on a daily basis. I am after all only human. Some of my day’s end with me feeling utterly useless asking God why on his green Earth, he would “bless” me with girls. Two, strong willed tiny women who frankly sometimes just get on my nerves. How did he ever believe that I could possibly handle these two crazies. Then I hear that voice of reassurance that tells me ” If I didn’t have faith in you to handle it, I wouldn’t have given them to you.” Apparently God has faith in me to keep them alive, and actually teach them something, so I wake up the next morning to a new day. I mean if anyone is going to have faith that we can handle what we have and where we are, I am so happy that it’s God!

As a nanny, it’s almost the same thing but not nearly as much pressure rests on my shoulders. It’s not my job to make sure they’re functioning adults.  It is however my job to keep them alive, fed, and hopefully help them learn something during the day. After all sitting around with 4 children 5 and under is impossible. Anyone who thinks staying home or being a nanny is easy, has lost their ever loving mind! Thankfully my oldest starts PM kindergarten in a week, can I get an AMEN! However that still leave me with 3 toddlers. It is a blessing that I have a flexible job that allows me to help pay the bills, and make sure my girls are taken care of. By me, because who can afford the elusive thing called childcare for two children. I’m reminded, by myself an others, that God has placed me here. I am in my “calling” right now, for this season these are my people. Sometimes, ok real talk, often, I crave some adult interaction. No sane person can last spending 40+ hours a week with people who argue ove who had the Olaf bean bag first. This is where God has placed me, and these are the people that he has called me to share about who he is. Again there’s that faith in me, not sure we see the same person in the mirror.  Challenge accepted!

As a wife I obviously don’t have to teach him to adult in life. He’s got that down pretty well. For me it’s being a helper, being supportive even when I don’t see things the way he does.  At this season in our lives I feel like he is my biggest help. We have developed a groove in cleaning (mostly him…gasp) cooking and all things around the house. Now we are working on quieting the chaos that is our life, to hear God. Easier said than done. 

As a daughter of God I have been learning more and more everyday. Some days I feel like my brain can’t take any more! Right now God is hammering in my brain to be content in where I am in life . My “calling” as we like to call it is being tinkered with right now. I know the dream God has for me and my family, but right now in the season he has placed me, I can’t do what I feel like I should be. I have been placing my own expectations on what God has given m, when it just isn’t “now.”  

I recently heard the saying ” if it isn’t true for the poor single Christian mother in Haiti, then it isn’t true” Jen Hatmaker, For the Love.  This saying has rocked my world! God has each of us with, and in contact with the people we need to touch. It may not look the way I want it to, or play out how I expected it, but it’s my calling none the less.  I can only do what I can do right now. Right now that looks like 4 children and their parents, and I’m ok with that. Now, it has taken me a tad to get here. Thankfully God has faith in me to handle where he has placed me, and what he has given me, because some days that pesky woman in my head tries to tell Him otherwise!